Talking to Teenagers About Sex
" There is no evidence at all that sex education of any kind leads to earlier sexual activity. In fact there is a body research which tells us that such education means that young people are more likely to delay sexual intercourse, and to be better prepared for it when the time comes"
(Source: Baldo, M., Aggleton, P. and Slutkin, G.(1993). Sex education does not lead to earlier or increased sexual activity in youth. WHO Global program on AIDS)
What role can parents play?
At times it can seem like parents don't have much to offer. In fact, every parent is already involved as a sexuality educator of their child from the moment their child is born.
Think aboutwhat you learnt about sex from your own parents when you were growing up. If you learnt very little or nothing at all from them, you probably got a message that sex is embarrassing even disgusting.
Many people have to work hard to find out about sex from other unreliable sources. They get the message that sex should not be discussed.
Think about the messages you are giving your children now. Are these the messages you want to give?
Parents often find this subject difficult to raise. They think that talking about it may lead their children to start sexual activity too early. Research has a lot of reassurance to offer parents on this subject.
It's hard to generalise about the topics teenagers will want to talk about. Some seem to stop talking tp parents altogther at this age, while others will talk about almost everything.
Thing most young people do want to talk about to parents
- The physical changes of puberty
- Menstruation and reproduction
- The risks of catching sexually transmissible infection (STIs)
- Unplanned pregnancy and contraception
- Issues such as abortion, homosexuality and sex before marriage
- Parents' own values and beliefs
Things most young people don't want to talk about to parents
- Wet dreams
- Masturbation
- The personal and private areas of sexual experience. Sexual feelings such as sexual deires, needs and satisfaction
- Particular sexual practices
Click here to some tips on talking with teenages about sex
What do young people really need to know?
Young people learning about sexual health need to understand what is meant by safe sex. Young people want to enjoy their sexual experiences and to have enough information and confidence to be able to prevent themselves coming to any harm.
The World Health Organisation has listed the life skills that young people need in the sexual health area as they ability to:
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make sound decisions about relationships and sexual intercourse and stand up for those decisions
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deal with pressures for unwanted sex or drug use
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recognise a situation that might turn risky or violent
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know how and where to ask for help and support
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know how to negotiate protected sex and other forms of safe sex when ready for sexual relationships
(Sourced: Talking Sexual Health: A Parents' Guide, Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society, LaTrobe University)